Which way do I go? Follow everyone else, or strike out on my own?
I'm talking about treatment for the huge nodule in my thyroid.
So, to recap:
- Doctor S. finds aforesaid huge nodule in the left side of my thyroid.
- Odds are 15-20% it’s cancer.
- He recommends I have it out. Don't mess with cancer, and the nodule is huge. Have it out.
- I’m not so sure.
- I start looking at alternatives.
- I fall in love with Dr. Bernie (Siegel) who believes in the connections between our thoughts/feelings and disease.
- I wonder what's going on with my thoughts/feelings and this dis-ease.
- I press the doctors for other options to immediate surgery.
- They say it’s ok to wait a few months and re-biopsy, get a second set of cells for more clarity on the big C.
So that’s what I decide to do. Wait.
As I wait, I wonder:
- What have other people done, in the same situation?
- Has anyone not taken it out?
- How do I find out?
I google around. Not much. Huh.
I go on Facebook. I ask friends.
It seems everyone follows their doctors’ recommendations. Most have it out. Only two regretted the choice - one because her parathyroids were compromised, the other because she can't get the dose of replacement hormone quite right and now has weight/energy issues.
I’m surprised. Nobody tried anything short of surgery?
I’m also a bit nervous. Am I overreacting? Really, no biggie, have it out. I am clearly so in the minority.
But I can’t seem to let it go. Like Robert Frost, I'm inclining toward the path less traveled.
Part of it has to do with that weight gain thing. Petty, I know. But I was a chubby child. (The neighbors used to chant, “Two Ton Tilly was a hippo, the fattest of the fattest of the hippos.“) My weight fluctuated over the years, but has stabilized at a reasonable level since I had my son. I largely processed those fat demons through my writing (see video below). But I have no desire to reconstitute them.
NOW HERE'S THE IMPORTANT PART:
How have YOU processed emotional scars with your art?
Please SHARE –
I’d love to share your stories of
HOW ART DEALS AND HEALS.
And for me and my thyroid – what next?
Maybe I should let it go. But the problem is: I’m really interested in this journey. In your journey.
- Why does disease appear where it does? For me, at the figurative center of my creative life – my voice.
- And why does it appear when it does? For me, when I had already downshifted from a lot of career pressures. Did I intuit it was coming?
I think I know the answer - answers. More on that in the next post.
Until then - Creative Coach Eric Maisel – genius – has great tips for breaking through creative blockages, whether you’re designing costumes or composing music on the computer. Check him out!