The Road Less Taken - and Why We Make Art

Which way do I go? Follow everyone else, or strike out on my own?

I'm talking about treatment for the huge nodule in my thyroid.

So, to recap:

  1. Doctor S. finds aforesaid huge nodule in the left side of my thyroid.
  2. Odds are 15-20% it’s cancer.
  3. He recommends I have it out. Don't mess with cancer, and the nodule is huge. Have it out.
  4. I’m not so sure.
  5. I start looking at alternatives.
  6. I fall in love with Dr. Bernie (Siegel) who believes in the connections between our thoughts/feelings and disease. 
  7. I wonder what's going on with my thoughts/feelings and this dis-ease.

So now:

  1. I press the doctors for other options to immediate surgery.
  2. They say it’s ok to wait a few months and re-biopsy, get a second set of cells for more clarity on the big C.

So that’s what I decide to do. Wait.

As I wait, I wonder:

  1. What have other people done, in the same situation?
  2. Has anyone not taken it out?
  3. How do I find out?

I google around. Not much. Huh.

I go on Facebook. I ask friends.

It seems everyone follows their doctors’ recommendations. Most have it out. Only two regretted the choice  - one because her parathyroids were compromised, the other because she can't get the dose of replacement hormone quite right and now has weight/energy issues. 

I’m surprised. Nobody tried anything short of surgery?

I’m also a bit nervous. Am I overreacting? Really, no biggie, have it out.  I am clearly so in the minority.

But I can’t seem to let it go. Like Robert Frost, I'm inclining toward the path less traveled.

Part of it has to do with that weight gain thing. Petty, I know. But I was a chubby child. (The neighbors used to chant, “Two Ton Tilly was a hippo, the fattest of the fattest of the hippos.“) My weight fluctuated over the years, but has stabilized at a reasonable level since I had my son. I largely processed those fat demons through my writing (see video below). But I have no desire to reconstitute them.

NOW HERE'S THE IMPORTANT PART:

How have YOU processed emotional scars with your art? 

Please SHARE –

I’d love to share your stories of

HOW ART DEALS AND HEALS.

And for me and my thyroid – what next?

Maybe I should let it go. But the problem is: I’m really interested in this journey. In your journey.

  • Why does disease appear where it does? For me, at the figurative center of my creative life – my voice.
  • And why does it appear when it does? For me, when I had already downshifted from a lot of career pressures. Did I intuit it was coming?

I think I know the answer - answers. More on that in the next post.

Until then -  Creative Coach Eric Maisel – genius – has great tips for breaking through creative blockages, whether you’re designing costumes or composing music on the computer. Check him out!