I dedicated my ditty time today to working on a show from my musical, Oneida. We're doing a reading of it in two weeks, so now's the time to make sure every moment counts, dramatically.
I'm taking a song for one of the leads, John Humphrey Noyes, and upping the stakes. The revolutionary Oneida Community he has founded has embarked on a program to act on the newest genetic discoveries by Darwin and Galton and "make" better babies.
Version One of the song reveled in his joy and excitement at the thought of these amazing children - the Lord saw fit to only give him one of his own; his wife had four (!) stillborns. He returns to his former fiery commitment to the cause - but in conversation with his niece and confidante Tirzan, not in song. Here it is.
VERSION ONE SCENE 15 - Hello In There
(…up on NOYES as he “sees” pregnant women in silhouette.)
NOYES
HELLO IN THERE.
WHETHER YOU’RE A HER OR A HIM
I HOPE YOU’RE ENJOYING YOUR SWIM.
I KNOW YOU’RE NO BIGGER THAN A NIBBLE
AND FOR A WHILE YOU’LL DO NO MORE THAN DROOL AND DRIBBLE
BUT ONE DAY,
I’LL NEED YOU TO SHINE.
I NEED YOU TO BE KIND
OF EXCELLENT MIND
BLOW NEITHER TOO HOT NOR TOO COLD
AND BY THE TIME THAT YOU’RE SUITABLY OLD
YOU’LL HAVE THE BIBLE MEMORIZED
AND HAVE THE WORLD MAGNETIZED
WITH YOUR GLORY
END OF STORY.
YOU’LL BE BORN TO LOVE
BRED FOR LOVE
YOU’LL BE THE HIGHEST TIDE OF ONEIDA
YOU’LL PROVIDE A MARVELOUS EXAMPLE
SO THE WHOLE WORLD WILL WANT TO SAMPLE
OUR WAY OF LIFE
THE ONEIDA WAY
(TIRZAH joins him.)
TIRZAH
Can’t sleep?
NOYES
If this goes wrong, they’ll have my head. I’ll be killed – or crowned. Is it hubris or human nature, this need to make your mark, to illumine the dark? Is it selfish or selfless, to want to leave some trace -
TIRZAH
To make the world a better place?
NOYES
Yes! Is it inspired or insane to build railways, dig canals –
TIRZAH
Open stores -
NOYES
Wage wars, right wrongs -
TIRZAH
Write songs?
NOYES
Ha! And is it me who is insane, or the government that tells you, You must live one way -
TIRZAH
And love one way –
NOYES
And be one way -
TIRZAH
Their way -
NOYES
I say Revolution!
(SHE gives him a huge hug, as huge as her bump will allow. About which they laugh.)
NOYES/TIRZAH
BORN TO LOVE
BRED FOR LOVE
THE HIGHEST TIDE OF ONEIDA
WE’LL PROVIDE A MARVELOUS EXAMPLE
SO THE WHOLE WORLD WILL WANT TO SAMPLE
OUR WAY OF LIFE
THE ONEIDA WAY
In Version Two, I'm letting his fears come more to the fore. It's all song, alluding to some of his past heartbreak, and a solo moment, which allows him to give in more to his inner anxiety. The music could get more intense, and the whole moment is more concise.
Which do you prefer?
NOYES
HELLO IN THERE.
WHETHER YOU’RE A HER OR A HIM
I HOPE YOU’RE ENJOYING YOUR SWIM.
I KNOW YOU’RE NO BIGGER THAN A NIBBLE
AND FOR A WHILE YOU’LL DO NO MORE THAN DROOL AND DRIBBLE
BUT ONE DAY,
I’LL NEED YOU TO SHINE.
YOU’LL BE BORN TO LOVE
BRED FOR LOVE
(YOU’LL BE) THE HIGHEST TIDE OF ONEIDA
YOU’LL PROVIDE A MARVELOUS EXAMPLE
SO THE WORLD’LL WANT TO SAMPLE
OUR WAY OF LIFE
THE ONEIDA WAY
(MOTHER NOYES appears in silhouette, pregnant.)
I HEAR YOU, LORD
(WE KNOW) I LONGED FOR A DYNASTY
HELP ME REMEMBER THIS IS NOT FOR ME
IT’S OUR BABIES WHO WILL TURN THIS WORLD AROUND
AS FOR ME, I’LL BE KILLED OR I’LL BE CROWNED
COULD BE WORSE
COULD BE FORGOTTEN
IS IT HUBRIS OR HUMAN NATURE,
THIS NEED TO MAKE YOUR MARK,
TO ILLUMINE THE DARK?
IS IT SELFISH OR SELFLESS,
TO WANT TO LEAVE SOME TRACE -
TO MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE?
IS IT INSPIRED OR INSANE
TO BUILD RAILWAYS, DIG CANALS,
WAGE WARS, OPEN STORES
RIGHT WRONGS - WRITE SONGS?
AND IS IT ME WHO IS INSANE,
OR THE GOVERNMENT THAT TELLS YOU,
YOU MUST LIVE ONE WAY -
AND LOVE ONE WAY –
AND BE ONE WAY -
THEIR WAY -
I SAY REVOLUTION!
BORN TO LOVE
BRED FOR LOVE
THE HIGHEST TIDE OF ONEIDA
OH, THE PRIDE FOR EVERY DAUGHTER AND SON
WHEN OUR WAR IS WON, THY WILL WILL BE DONE
(THY WILL BE DONE WHEN OUR WAR IS WON)
YOUR WAY OF LIFE
THE ONEIDA WAY